A Climate I Enjoy
by BabelFish42
Summary: What does Alice see in Jasper? One-shot written from Jasper's POV, shortly after the infamous birthday party.


**Disclaimer: **I own Twilight like I own my brother in video games. (i.e., I don't own it at all!) Many thanks to Stephanie Meyer for letting me play with her wonderful characters.

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"_I live every day in a climate of emotion."_

"_Alice has made all the difference. This is a climate I enjoy."_

-_Eclipse_

--

Alice's perfect face sparkled even more brightly than freshly fallen snow. This was undoubtedly one of my favorite aspects of Alaska: the ability to venture out into this vast wilderness, to places high in the mountain ranges that no human could reach, without hiding from the sun. The sun no longer bothered me, especially when she was there to reflect its rays. I loved seeing Alice this way, shining as if she were made of diamonds. But I was not so thrilled to see that her exquisite elfin features mirrored the concern that was emanating from her.

She gracefully took a seat beside me on the jagged rocky outcropping. Even though I had wandered off without telling anyone where I was going, I wasn't surprised to see her. Alice always knew where to find me. For several moments, she merely looked at me without speaking, until I finally turned my face away. She placed her hand gently on my knee.

"No one blames you, you know," she said quietly. "Edward's forgiven you. Bella was never angry in the first place. The rest of us certainly don't hold anything against you. Now you just need to forgive yourself."

I shook my head slowly, still looking down, refusing to meet her gaze. I had slipped up before, but this time was so much worse. This was _Bella_. She was... one of us. I knew, probably better than anyone else, how strongly Edward felt about her. Yet I had been the one, the only one, who attacked.

"How can I forgive myself when it's so obvious I haven't changed?" I asked bitterly. "I'm no better now than I was a century ago, Alice. Still a murderous, bloodthirsty monster."

"That's not true." Though I still wasn't looking at her, I felt sure Alice's bright eyes had flashed angrily at me, judging by her sudden change in emotion.

"Isn't it?" I whispered. "I wanted to kill her, Alice. I wanted to rip her throat open and drink her blood. I wanted to tear Edward apart for daring to stand in my way. Now who does that remind you of?"

"You are _not_ James!" Yes, she was definitely glaring at me now.

"And how am I any different?"

"It's one thing to lose your head when you smell fresh blood. Deliberately planning to torture someone to death is an entirely different matter! Listen to me, Jasper!" She took my face with her free hand, forcing me to look at her.

"The difference between you and James," she continued, "the difference between you today and you a century ago, is that you _try_. You can't help the bloodlust, you can't control what you want. None of us can. But you can control how you deal with it."

I laughed humorlessly.

"And I obviously don't deal with it very well, do I?"

"Yes, you do," she replied sharply, "because you _fight_ it. Some days you win, some days you lose, but that's not really the point. Whether you give in or not, you don't want to."

"Oh, then it's all right to murder a few people on occasion, just so long as I don't really want to?" I didn't mean to be sarcastic to her, but I couldn't keep it out of my voice. I sighed. "I'm sorry Alice. I shouldn't have said it like that. I'm sorry… I'm sorry for doing so many things I shouldn't do."

I hid my face in my hands.

"Stop that." Alice pulled my hands away and rolled her eyes. "If you're apologizing for not being perfect, I accept. Yes, you make mistakes. What a surprise. Believe it or not, Jasper, most people on the planet screw up on a regular basis."

"Except my mistakes usually involve homicide," I pointed out.

Alice's fierce golden eyes locked on mine.

"And the very fact that you consider them mistakes proves that you've changed!" she replied. "Even if you trip now and then, you've chosen Carlisle's path. That choice makes all the difference in the world. It's what makes you completely different from James." She paused, and her expression softened.

"Don't you trust my judgment?" she asked quietly. "I know who you are, Jazz. Maybe better than you do. I know what I'm talking about."

I lifted my hand to her sparkling face, gingerly tracing a line from cheek to chin. She was so perfect in every way, my Alice. I could easily spend the rest of eternity simply looking at her and basking in the warm glow of her love. Love. I had a name for it now, that powerful emotion I'd sensed when Alice had approached me in the diner all those years ago. The sensation had been so alien then, but now I could not imagine a world without it. Her love defined my world, even more so than hatred and violence had defined it before.

"I'll never understand why you came to find me," I murmured. "I certainly don't deserve you. But if I've changed at all, it is all thanks to you."

I gently tilted her diamond-dusted head up towards mine, and our lips met. Although time usually means little to immortals, here, locked in her embrace on a snow-covered mountain, time meant nothing at all. The rest of the troubled world ceased to exist. There was only Alice, brighter than the snow, whiter than the feathery clouds in the heavens not so far above us, and more radiant than the sun itself.

I could never be sure how long our embraces lasted. We may have remained that way for a matter of seconds or an eternity for all I could tell. Breathing was thankfully not necessary. At some point, however, we did break apart and Alice, who was now perched on my lap, rested her head against my chest. I sighed peacefully, and wrapped my arms around her tiny body.

Unlike some couples, Alice and I didn't feel a constant need for words or passionate displays of affection. As enjoyable as those things were, I relished the simplicity of our relationship. Merely holding her in my arms was just as intimate for us as any other act. I realize it's rather cliché for lovers to marvel at how lucky they are to have found each other. Still, I couldn't help wondering how on earth I had been so fortunate, and so undeservingly blessed.

"You're thinking about something," Alice murmured. "There are questions in your head."

"Did you see me asking something?" I wondered.

"No," she replied, snuggling deeper against my torso. "But I can tell."

I smiled. When it came to my thoughts, I'd swear Alice was just as good a mind-reader as Edward.

"You're truly amazing," I responded. "Why, why, _why_ did you ever come looking for a monster like me? I know you saw me. But why did you decide to come?"

Alice sat up straight and looked directly at me.

"Jasper," she answered slowly, "I only see the present and the future. Not the past. I don't see you as you were. I see who you are, and who you can be."

She leaned in and touched her cheek against mine, so that her lips brushed my ear.

"It doesn't matter who you were," she whispered. "Because you _are_ the man I love. You always will be."


End file.
